Valentine's Day 2K6
I really don't want this blog to become www.mattclarksrelationshipwoes.com, but I guess I should give a recap of mine and Carla's last two visits...
My visit with Carla in Dahlonega went really well, I thought... it was a short one, but we had a lot of fun and got along just fine. There was an incident where we were sitting on the couch watching TV and I got a call from an area code I didn't recognize... I answered the phone against my better judgement, and hey, guess who it is: my ex-girlfriend Christalee who I haven't talked to in like 8 months, just calling to say what's up. Awesome. I thought this would be something that would sort of freak Carla out and it'd be one of those things where I'd try to tell her that it was just a weird coincidence but it would still sort of worry her, but to her credit she saw it for what it was: a coincidence. I told Christalee that there really wasn't any reason for us to have any sort of friendship, she understood, I told her good luck, and that was that. Not freaking out definitely scored Carla some points. So besides that little bump in the road (which wasn't even that big of a deal), my visit to Dahlonega went really well.
Carla's visit here was not so uneventful, although I won't go into everything. We both had a really great time along with a couple of pretty intense discussions/fights, and there was one point where I thought 'this is it; we're breaking up'. Carla's visit here was a reeeeeeally intense flood of emotions, and I think I'm still kind of sorting everything out. Like I said, I won't go into too much detail about her visit (mostly because it would take forever), but I think that a lot of things about our relationship came to light while she was here.
One of the main things I'm realizing is how much our relationship really, really means to Carla; it's kind of overwhelming sometimes and to be honest, I feel almost guilty that I don't feel quite as strongly about it as she does. Don't get me wrong, I love her and care about her very much, she means the world to me, and I would love to get to that point where I do feel that 'I-absolutely-cannot-do-without-you' sort of connection. I think my own selfishness hinders progress in certain areas just as much as her insecurities do. I think that in the face of making this major commitment by moving away from this town that I love to be with Carla, I'm having to ask all these questions like: Will these areas ever get better? If not, can I live with this for the rest of my life? Is this something that I should be patient and compromise on, or is it something that I just shouldn't compromise on no matter what? Am I really the problem here? This is all normal relationship stuff, right? All this time we are rushing toward March, when we are both suppossed to be moving back to Chattanooga, and the whole decision thing is getting really scary.
Anyway, we took a bunch of pictures while we were downtown on Valentine's Day, and we decided to start a site to host some of our pictures together so friends and family can see them and whatnot... the address for the site is:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/40447800@N00/
We will be updating the site whenever we have new pictures up, if you're reading this and you care.
My visit with Carla in Dahlonega went really well, I thought... it was a short one, but we had a lot of fun and got along just fine. There was an incident where we were sitting on the couch watching TV and I got a call from an area code I didn't recognize... I answered the phone against my better judgement, and hey, guess who it is: my ex-girlfriend Christalee who I haven't talked to in like 8 months, just calling to say what's up. Awesome. I thought this would be something that would sort of freak Carla out and it'd be one of those things where I'd try to tell her that it was just a weird coincidence but it would still sort of worry her, but to her credit she saw it for what it was: a coincidence. I told Christalee that there really wasn't any reason for us to have any sort of friendship, she understood, I told her good luck, and that was that. Not freaking out definitely scored Carla some points. So besides that little bump in the road (which wasn't even that big of a deal), my visit to Dahlonega went really well.
Carla's visit here was not so uneventful, although I won't go into everything. We both had a really great time along with a couple of pretty intense discussions/fights, and there was one point where I thought 'this is it; we're breaking up'. Carla's visit here was a reeeeeeally intense flood of emotions, and I think I'm still kind of sorting everything out. Like I said, I won't go into too much detail about her visit (mostly because it would take forever), but I think that a lot of things about our relationship came to light while she was here.
One of the main things I'm realizing is how much our relationship really, really means to Carla; it's kind of overwhelming sometimes and to be honest, I feel almost guilty that I don't feel quite as strongly about it as she does. Don't get me wrong, I love her and care about her very much, she means the world to me, and I would love to get to that point where I do feel that 'I-absolutely-cannot-do-without-you' sort of connection. I think my own selfishness hinders progress in certain areas just as much as her insecurities do. I think that in the face of making this major commitment by moving away from this town that I love to be with Carla, I'm having to ask all these questions like: Will these areas ever get better? If not, can I live with this for the rest of my life? Is this something that I should be patient and compromise on, or is it something that I just shouldn't compromise on no matter what? Am I really the problem here? This is all normal relationship stuff, right? All this time we are rushing toward March, when we are both suppossed to be moving back to Chattanooga, and the whole decision thing is getting really scary.
Anyway, we took a bunch of pictures while we were downtown on Valentine's Day, and we decided to start a site to host some of our pictures together so friends and family can see them and whatnot... the address for the site is:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/40447800@N00/
We will be updating the site whenever we have new pictures up, if you're reading this and you care.
posted by Matt @ 1:44 PM
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