Hey, good to see you again!

Last night I had the exquisite pleasure of waiting on a party of four that had tipped me very, very poorly when I waited on them a couple of months ago. Occasionally people you wait on will leave such a bad impression on you that the experience stays with you for awhile, and you remember little things like what the people were drinking or how one of the couples both got soup instead of salad. This was one of those tables, and I remembered them as soon as the women both ordered their peach-flavored iced teas and I saw their husbands' mustaches.

The first sentence of this blog might have come across as sarcasm, but serving these people was actually the highlight of my night because it gave me the opportunity to purposely give them service that was borderline insulting without having to care about losing a tip. Usually when someone leaves you a bad tip, they're already out the door and there's not a thing you can do, but this was a rare opportunity for some payback, which, as we all know, is a bitch. Call me immature, but it was really, really gratifying to do things like leaving their drinks sitting empty half the time and seeing them anxiously look for me, and having the salad, bread, and entrees all come out at the same time and then letting all the dishes pile up on the table. It was a thing of beauty, actually.

At the end of the meal the people were visibly annoyed with me and for a second I was afraid that I'd gone too far and that they would end up complaining to the manager about me, but after they left and I went and grabbed their credit card slips, I was surprised to see that they had left me exactly the same amount as last time: $3 on a $60 check. See you next time, assholes.